Bothering

   Everyone wants to know what’s bothering me. For once, it has absolutely nothing to do with a guy.

   First: College.

   It seems like everywhere I turn someone is asking something about it and I give them all the same answer: “I don’t know right now.”

   I honestly don’t know. I don’t really want to go to college once I graduate. I don’t even know if I want to go a few years down the road. I really don’t have any interest in it at the moment.

   Second: Music.

   I love my music and that’s pretty much all I want to do. It makes me happy and I love singing, but getting up on stage to sing in church alone scares me. It always has.

   I never use the word ‘if’ any time I talk about music. It’s always been a ‘when’ for me. I love this quote someone once said: ‘If’ is a dream and ‘when’ is a goal. My goal is to get into singing and I know I can do it if I try hard enough.

   Third: Siblings friends.

   I’m not trying to steal my sibling’s friends, even though that’s what they seem to think I’m doing. Yes, I like being around their friends, but they aren't mine. I never got that ‘best-friend’ like my sisters have, and since they have one, I’m not going to do anything to change that or stop it.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart…

In all thy ways acknowledge him, and He shall direct thy paths.

Proverbs 3: 5a, 6

Music: Money or Ministry?

I love music. Ever since I was little, I can remember wanting to get into Christian music and tour the world. At 16, I got my first guitar and took lessons for 4 months.

When I was 14, I decided that I wanted to get into Christian music. For the money. I wanted to be rich and famous. I wanted to be able to just hop on a plane and go somewhere.

I realize now how wrong that is. It should never be about the money. It should always be about Christ.

When I was 12, I was chatting with a girl from my church(who had the most amazing voice and when she sang, and you soaked in what she sang), and I asked her why she didn’t go into a career in music.

You know what her answer was? She didn’t want to care about the money. She just wanted to sing to glorify God and that was all that mattered to her. She just wanted to be a regular teenager for the time.

I remembered what she said when I was 16 and started learning guitar. I no longer wanted to get into music for the money. I want to get into it for the ministry.

I want to sing and write songs to glorify God and no one else. I want to sing songs that help strengthen someone’s walk with the Lord and strengthen them.

I do care a bit about money because I will need something to live on. I would live to move to Tennessee to get started, but if I can’t, I’m happy to start out here.

I see so many Christian artists that only care about the money and how much they are making and how the can go anywhere they want. I don’t want to be like them. I want people to know that I’m in it for Christ and no one else.

So, that’s it. Yes, I still want to get into music sometime in the future. Yes, I would like to make some money to support myself. But no, I would not like to be rich and famous and be able to fly anywhere, anymore.

It may not be for a couple years. Who knows, it may never happen. But if it does, those that influenced me in choosing the path will never be forgotten. From the person who first got me into music, to the person who is into music and has encouraged me a lot.

But know this: I just want to be closer to Christ.

Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. ~ 1 Corinthians 10:31